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Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You A Happy Adult
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Possibly the rarest character trait on the planet for human beings to bring-a rock-solid commitment in action to grow. To takijg the publically stated intention to grow, mxke time and place for this to occur, and the follow through in direct actions to completion, the three components of a commitment and when accomplished on a regular basis pointing to a committed person, self-responsibility and self-accountability are palpably self-evident. There is no stopping such a being in any set of circumstances in powerfully harnessing and channeling their energies, talents, skills and abilities in transforming and transcending all obstacles in ever-arriving and inhabiting their full creative expression.
This may well be the greatest personality attribute and character trait you can bring to any transformational process, whether expressed in a therapeutic process, meeting the highly challenged circumstances relationships regularly present, or in effectively facing and dealing with change in its multitude of disguises however it arises in this present moment. Have you ever considered what would allow you to die peacefully and even joyously?
This may seem like a morbid question to ask, yet only by making peace with death can respohsibility fully live. Some of the xan admirable, impressive accomplishments blossom from the most everyday activities. Begin by inhabiting presence, witnessing the ego-mind and living your Authentic Self. Next, see the possibility of being a really wonderful offspring to your parents and Adupt equally tremendous parent to your children. Takkng the possibility of being a loving, understanding, patient and supportive partner in your committed intimate relationship. Include the further opportunity of being a terrific, loyal and truth-telling friend to another human being. Consider having made an authentic contribution in having truly touched others and having left some enduring legacy of achievements or your presence itself.
When a reward is covered up, 75 percent of kids in one study redponsibility able to wait a full fifteen minutes for the second marshmallow; none of the kids was able to wait this long when the reward was visible. More on increasing self-discipline here. More Playtime We read a lot about mindfulness and meditation these days — and both are quite powerful. Getting kids to do them regularly however can be quite a challenge. What works almost as well? Most kids already practice mindfulness — fully enjoying the present moment — when they play.
Researchers believe that this dramatic drop in unstructured playtime is in part responsible for slowing kids cognitive and emotional development… In addition to helping kids learn to self-regulate, child-led, unstructured play with or without adults promoted intellectual, physical, social, and emotional well-being. Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves. No strict instructions are necessary here: Budget more time for your kids to just get outside and simply play.
More on the power of playing for kids and adults here. Your efforts will be constrained by time and effort, while context affects us and children constantly. Sociologists show that happier people tend to watch considerably less television than unhappy people. But we do know that there are a lot of activities that will help our kids develop into happy, well-adjusted individuals. More non-television happiness activities are here. Eat Dinner Together Sometimes all science does is validate those things our grandparents knew all along. Yes, family dinner matters. But then go one step farther: Talk about why you set those limits and why you have those expectations. Then allow your kids to talk, and make sure you listen.
You may be able to control certain behaviors, but you can't control every opinion -- so don't try. Show that even though you might disagree, you still respect their right to see things differently. Showing respect is a great way to show you care. And make sure you let your kids make as many of their own decisions as you can.
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Maks best way to learn to make smart choices -- and to take responsibility for our actions -- is to start early. Teach Optimism Want to avoid dealing with a surly teenager? Then teach those pre-teens to look on the bright side. Ten-year-olds who are taught how to think and interpret the world optimistically are half as prone to depression when they later go through puberty. Author Christine Carter puts it simply: Are more successful at school, work and athletics Are healthier and live longer End up more satisfied with their marriages Are less likely to deal with depression and anxiety More on how to encourage optimism here.
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Teach Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is a skill, not an inborn trait. Tell me about that. I want takiing have a playdate right NOW. Relate to the child, help them identify what they are feeling and let them know that those feelings are okay even though bad behavior might not be. More on active listening and labeling and how hostage negotiators use this here. We can overcome that with good habits.
Thinking through these methods is taxing but acting habitually is easy, once habits have been established. Adlt do you help kids build lasting happiness habits? Carter explains a few powerful methods backed by research: Get distractions and temptations out of the way. Establish goals to increase social support — and social pressure. One Goal At A Time: Too many goals overwhelms willpowerespecially for kids. Solidify one habit before adding another.